Is this really what I want to do? really, really?

Sunday, September 21, 2009


Today was a of crisis of faith. I am not sure I really want to do this and by this I mean go to culinary school, run a food wagon or any of it. I feel drained and this is just cooking for my family. I make small mistakes which could easily have been big ones. I am not prepared in most cases and struggle to complete my task. I am accident prone and am constantly dumping spices and food on the floor. Tonight I was making the 16 spice rub for the chicken. I noticed that I was low on several spices and I knew I was low on funds. I had all the spices in the bowl except the pepper; which I was milling. I was adding the pepper and suddenly the entire bowl was on the kitchen floor. I just about cried. I did slide down onto the stool and sat there for a long time. I had a nice pity party. How my life hardly ever goes according to my plan. How I have to work hard for the simple success. And other "how" s kept coming to my head. Finally, I just brushed the chicken with oil and a few seasonings. Stuffed it in the oven. I boiled up some brussel sprouts and called it good. My Mike came in around 6:45 pm and was quit surprised to see a plate of food on the counter.

As usual he reassured me of my cooking ability. My Mike says all will be OK. I just need to be more organized. Organized, Organized, organized I am so sick of that word. I am very organized in some tasks; but a total loss in other areas. I have no idea how to fix the areas where I am deficient. Deficient. Another word I can use to describe myself. I am so deficient ...

Before I had my outburst. I did make breakfast.

Menu: Scrambled Eggs Chilaquiles w/ Roasted Tomatillo Sauce

I will post my picture later. I don't feel like going into any details. Suffice it to say it was ok. I can honestly say that the sauce was not to my liking. Suprising for a Bobby Flay recipe.